Reflections of a New(ish) Leader

I started writing this just one year on from making the jump from my full-time role in clinical neurophysiology to a strategic leadership role, a point where I was just starting to see myself as a leader.

Maybe it was provoked by me being awarded my Level 7 Diploma in Strategic Leadership and Management Practice with Distinction and gaining that shiny CMI Chartered Manager badge (call me Danielle Johnson BSc. MSc. FCMI CMgr), or the 12-month milestone that made me feel like I finally had the credentials to be a leader. It has been a journey to really find myself as a leader and start to envision the kind of leader I want to be moving forward.

In those first few months, I remember sitting in meetings not understanding a word anyone was saying – it is literally a whole new language – “strategy, workstreams, operationalising’ – what does it all really mean?! Leaving a clinical role I was pretty senior in and making a career pivot into transformation, innovation and project management was hard.  Although there were many new and exciting things to learn, the transition into the role was a huge challenge. The sense of achievement and immediate fulfilment that came from daily patient interactions had been replaced by days in front of MS Teams, once-started-but-never-got-round-to-finishing reports, and trying to keep a million things in my head at any one time in case someone asks me something in a meeting. Change is a slow process in a complex landscape such as the NHS; it can feel like you’re not achieving much, just chipping away at a seemingly impossible task that may, or may not, reach its end point. And although remote working is great – there can also be an element of isolation than comes from this kind of role. Sometimes I find myself missing those daily interactions over lunch or while making a coffee in the department, or those appointments when you have a really good chat with a patient. At times it also felt tiring to be a new leader, working with colleagues who were more established (and understood what was going on in meetings) combined with being a person who doesn’t like not knowing things or being able to do things straight away wasn't easy. For me, there was an additional challenge that came with doubting whether I fitted in in those rooms; imposter syndrome set in, fuelled by the constant recognition that I was often the youngest person in the room, or the only person that wasn't white...

Until 2023, I wasn’t in an official position of authority and in our traditional hierarchical NHS systems, that often means that we don’t see ourselves as leaders. Working in the NHS, it’s hard to escape the many inefficiencies and not get frustrated by the ‘but that’s just the way we’ve always done it’ attitude. You can see what needs changing but you have no idea how to get there and there are too many barriers in the way. We need to shift our idea of leadership in the NHS so that everyone feels empowered to challenge the status quo and drive positive change, not just the people at the top with the official leader or manager titles. We need to empower to our frontline workers, our trainees, and importantly, our patients, who (should) ultimately drive everything we do.

Leadership is all about driving change, and as you might've picked up on earlier, change is hard. But what I’ve learnt to appreciate is that leadership is all about people. It’s about the relationships you build, the vision you create and your ability to bring others on a journey with you. It’s got nothing to do with your position within an organisation, your job title, or your salary. Leadership is about being a positive role model, motivating and inspiring others. It's about being a good communicator, a forward-thinker and someone who is able to consider different options and perspectives before making a decision. Leadership is a set of behaviours, not a personality type, an image or a way of speaking. 

Here are a few other things I wish someone had told me when I started my leadership journey:

•  Get to know yourself (and be completely authentic)

As an introvert, leadership can push me out of my comfort zone. It takes energy to  constantly ensure my thoughts and ideas are put out there and listened to. I’ve come to realise that I don’t need to be loud or dominating to be a leader, I can be quietly confident, thoughtful and reflective. I’ve also learnt how to harness my strengths as an introvert: taking time before meetings to effectively prepare, always having my notebook at hand to record thoughts and ideas, and ensuring I’m taking the time I need to recharge so that I can be effective in my role. I have got to this point by being me, so why should I feel the need to change them now? As a leader (and in any scenario), your uniqueness is your strength – only by being truly authentic will you be able to genuinely connect with people and build trusting relationships. In getting to know yourself better, you’ll also get to know your leadership style and what’s important to you as a leader. I see myself as a values-based leader who centres authenticity, integrity and inclusivity, and who is motivated by work that aligns with my personal values and purpose. It’s not about imposing my values on others, but using my values to unite and motivate others towards a vision.

 

• Take the time to build relationships

People do things for people. Change is relational, not transactional. Understanding and managing your stakeholders, building connections, demonstrating self awareness, applying emotional intelligence and honing your communication skills are essential. Take the time to build bonds and get to know colleagues and peers – it’s worth it.

• Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable

You can’t be an effective leader without acknowledging the full range of your experiences and emotions, and also those of the people you lead. Sometimes I get disheartened, sometimes I struggle to stay motivated, sometimes I get overwhelmed with how much I want to do and if I’ll ever achieve it all. Sometimes I make mistakes or I simply don’t know the answer. Everyone in the NHS is struggling with workload, understaffing and the constant flow of urgent priorities – sometimes just take a moment to recognise the situation we’re all in. Also, everyone has a life outside of work, give people grace and practice empathy.

•  Find a mentor or a coach

Mentoring and coaching have been instrumental to my development as a leader. Over the past few years, I’ve worked with some great coaches who have helped me to unlock my potential as a leader and empowered me to overcome challenges. As a person who can naturally be quite self-critical, coaches have helped me to reframe my thinking and navigate difficult scenarios effectively. Mentors have allowed me to learn from their experiences and inspired me to try new things.

• Build networks with like-minded individuals

Sometimes you just need to talk to someone who gets it - whether that's the unique struggles of your role and the personal challenges you might be facing. Draw on your networks when you need support and don't underestimate the power of a quick chat to provide perspective or just a few words of encouragement. Use networks to share ideas, seek feedback and cultivate a collaborative approach towards shared goals. 

• You might need to find another route to short-term fulfilment (try a leadership journal)

As I said earlier, the end of day list of things you’ve achieved can be very different in a leadership compared to a clinical role and sometimes you might log off at 5pm wondering “What have I actually achieved today?” What’s really helped me is taking the time at the end of each day or week to actively reflect on what progress I’ve made, how I’m feeling, what strengths I’ve noticed in myself, what the challenges and success have been and what needs my attention tomorrow/next week. A leadership journal can be great for this, and it also allows you to look back over time, realise the many things you have achieved and sustain your motivation.

•  Look after yourself!

Take the time to recognise your progress and achievements (even the small ones). Take your lunch breaks. Finish on time. Realise that you can’t do everything - my new favourite phrase is ‘you’re a human being, not a human doing’. Break tasks up into smaller, more manageable chunks and realise that productivity doesn’t look the same everyday. Remember being a compassionate leader also means being compassionate to yourself.